How are you?: The question everyone asks, and no one wants answered

I’m back to school today, and while this will probably not be the only post for today, this is still something I want to discuss.

How many times in your day do you hear the following conversation, almost word for word:

Hi.
Hi.  How are you?
Fine. You?
Fine.

You rarely ever hear one that goes:

Hi.
Hi.  How are you?
Oh, totally miserable.  I’m in so much pain today, and I forgot my lunch, which means I can’t take my medication, which means that I’m going to start going through withdrawal…

Too much information, right?  No one wants to hear it.  “How are you” is merely an extended greeting.  It’s not really intended to inquire after your well-being.  In fact, if it actually is used to ask about how you’re feeling, the conversation generally goes thusly:

Hi.
Hi.
How are you?
Fine.
No, really.  How are you?

Yup.  It has to be clarified that the asker actually wants you to reply honestly.

So why did I bring this up?  As previously stated, it’s my first day back at school.  At least five times, I have had people pass me saying, “Hey, how are you?” as they keep walking.  They don’t even stick around long enough to hear “fine,” much less a truthful response.

So, dear reader, let this be a bug in your brain.  Think about how often in your day you ask “how are you” or “what’s up” or “how’ve you been” or other such questions.  Are you following custom, or are you truly asking?  Does the answer respond with “fine,” “good,” “well,” or some other programed retort, or does he actually articulate his state of existence?

To close, the following XKCD webcomic was published a while ago, but is exceedingly appropriate:

“But surely I owe you an accurate answer!”

 

(Originally published on another of my blogs: http://ruminarispoonie.wordpress.com)